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It's time to let him go - CLICK HERE for the Pet Manual Forum Home Page
jedi105
I have a 14 year old Golden Retriever (Pure Bred). Goober has been with us since he was 8 weeks old. He is our "son" so to speak. He is friend and protector to our 2 children. But he has reached the time where it is necessary for us to let him go. He is in pain from bad hips. It is very hard for him to get up from his bed. He does not even greet us when we get home because it is too hard to get up. He has had 2 episodes where I believe he had seizures (totally locked up, uncontrolled urine and bowels, glazed eye and not recognizing us for a few minutes after the attack). He is unable to easily get up stairs. He has lumps all over his body that I'm afraid are cancer but could be fatty deposits. His eyes are clouding over. He is getting senile and hard of hearing. Loud noises sometimes startle him to the point where he flinches. When he stands, he has a hard time standing where he starts bobbing his head because he cant hold it up.

This is a very trying time for the family. We don't want to let him go, but we don't want him to suffer and he is suffering. It's obvious.

First, we have decided to euthanize him as soon as the weather turns. The options are to drop him off and never see him again, bring him in and be there with him as he goes and have his body disposed of by the clinic, bring him in and be there with him when he goes and then bring his body home for burial.


The question is, the kids. They want to be there when he goes to hold him. I don't think it is a bad idea but my wife thinks it may be damaging to them if they do. She thinks it would be too hard for them. They are terrified that I am going to take him one day while they are in school and do it. What do you think? Do you think a 13 year old girl and a 10 year old boy should be there for the final moments and be able to say good bye as he takes his last breath or should they stay home.
Squaredoggy
Sorry to read of your dilemma, by now you've no doubt made the decisions you had to. It's never easy, we've had many dogs over the years and it doesn't get any easier but at least you know your intentions are for the best.

We had one dog, Poppy, who was a cross border collie/whippet - very intelligent and very hyperactive. She eventually kept having strokes as she got herself so worked up, but even then we didn't have to face the difficult decision until she was 16 and a half and she'd been having strokes since she was around 10!

Just remember the good times you had with your 'furry son', they are irreplacable.
mandy4doxies
It's never easy to say goodbye.

Honestly, I don't know about letting the kids be there. I ws 26 when we had to put down our lab mix, and I was glad I wasn't there. Although I did visit him the night before. I knew his time would be the next day. I at least got to say goodbye.

Maybe take the kids to the clinic, or even let them stay home, but let them have their "goodbye" time with their pet. It is important to grieve no matter how old you are. I would definately bring him home for burial. I regret not having Buddy here, but the ground was to hard for us to bury him. As long as he is at your home, he will never be forgotten.

Hope this has helped...
sazel192
Heres a lovely poem I found.

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey - a journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also test your strength and courage.

If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple pleasures -jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.

If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined, no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information. Your pace may be slower - except when heading home to the food dish - but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in the
field.

Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the details - the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig.
Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we browse the landscape, we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog knows: that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.

Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world around you. You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting on a screen.(How bizarre they are! How many kinds there are!), or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that there is no objective in this; the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most important details slip by.

You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your
pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the house trailing your bathrobe tie - with a cat in hot pursuit, all in the name of love.

Your house will become muddier and hairier. You will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the crinkly sound.

You will learn the true measure of love - the steadfast, undying kind that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life treats us as long as we are together." Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find
it often among the human race.

And you will learn humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made me feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not some flawed
human who could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love me anyway.

If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person,
but the person your pet always knew you to be - the one they were proud to call beloved friend.

I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion
will follow a trail you cannot yet go down.

And you will have to find the strength and love to let them go. A pet's time on earth is far too short - especially for those that love them.
We borrow them, really, just for awhile, and during these brief years they are generous
enough to give us all their love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing left.

The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle now gray. Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken.

But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead - young and whole once more.
"Godspeed, good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.


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